"In this shell, it becomes dark and hallow."
When I re-evaluate myself, over and over, I hate myself, more and more, but I love others more and more. I love how they live much more normal lives. They may note me for my talents, but I note them for being able to love so successfully and move on much more successful than I ever could. I envy their strength, where as I cannot reach that strength. Perhaps it is love that is destroying me, hence why I try to destroy my feelings, but to no avail, of course.
I try to reject the opportunities I get, for it is because I do so care about another, so much that I wish I was not here, quite frequently, but it does not deter me into tears.
For a moment, my damages are only temporarily fixed, when I leave to no man's land, and it's only fixed for a limited time.
Which is why I envy those who are far more stronger than I. I understand the feeling I have, and I only acknowledge it as my darkness.
Oh, how I wish I had no heart. No uncomfortable feelings, right now.
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