Somewhat Relieved

So... Just the past Friday, I went to see a counselor/my advisor. I wanted to figure out why I couldn't sleep. I've been seeing my advisor for about 2 weeks, now.

So yeah, during that Friday, I was asked questions. I was open to any question, just wasn't sure how I'd react to them. Until it quickly came to a question about changing or stopping my past event. I suddenly feel tense, pressured, but not afraid to let out what I was thinking, or how I felt.

My advisor was able to help me figure out on of my problems... Guilt. Though, my past event had nothing to do with me, I felt guilty. I told my advisor that it was something that I could have changed, something that was not inevitable.

I cried and cried.. But in a way that it was relieving, but still stressed. I'm partly satisfied with figuring it out, but I'm still in need for something

It Just Struck Me

Everyone in this world has at least one problem, whether it is minor or a major one. (Do other people's problems weight out one another?) People who act all depressed in public, are quite selfish, actually. (Are they selfish? Do they not consider others?)

There is one student in my school, grade 11. He's such a child. His behavior is really strange at that kind of age. He is giving off a depressed face a lot and he smokes over... What..? (With or without reason, it is foolish without good, given thoughts.)

So for once, I decided to tell him my personal story, my subliminal message, "You're not the only one with problems". However, it didn't really get through to him. (Are there that many hopeless men?) I got fed up and just started to think of him as just another person in the crowd, and eventually, he made a lie that I could almost want to kill him!! (All they wanted was attention, but at such a cost and to gain what?) He was taking his life forgranted, his problems felt like nothing to me that I didn't care about his past... That was how insignificant it was. Something a 12 year old could over come. (Your benefactor, your provider for the basic needs... Do they think often of their basic needs?)

"They're all a headache... You're all a headache, yet I become concerned but I don't really care... At some point, thanks is going to go somewhere"

Stop Coming Back

How often does father appear in my dreams? I think he stops appearing, but when I think that, he comes back. It feels like he's haunting me, but not in a bad way.

However, this time, my dream was somewhat a nightmare, but a pleasuring nightmare.
You were beside me, giving me a gun. Suddenly, I found myself shooting the people I truly hated, in search of you. I was cutting down my enemies with my sword and shot down people who were irritating.

I felt like I was losing it. I was laughing and crying, constantly searching, looking for you, denying the facts. I kept running and removing the ones I hated. The cold rain continuously coming down. It was cold, yet enjoyable because of how much I kept releasing my hate upon them. I hate them, and they are the only ones I will forever hate.

I want those 5 to feel my pain, take away their families as they had done mine. I can't forget this, and never will. I will never forgive them.

"If only time was in the palm of my hands", are the words that are always lingering at the bottom of my heart.

It's always dreams that get me started on this kind of thing

Either I'm Irritated or Annoyed!

Many guys are retarded. PERIOD! DONE ENTRY!

NO, IM NOT DONE!

In the superficial world, especially when guys are part of it (gay ones,as well... Like Chris Crocker... Actually no, he/she is in a totally different universe that accidentally crashed into our universe... ANYWAY.)
, people don't have a good sense of humor. They are actually, I'd say, worse than trolls... They are weird, snobby, not that intelligent, and aren't very considerate. There are more, but I won't list them. I'm so happy I have my personal limits... Should I make a video about that? No, maybe not because I don't have enough ideas for it.

So people, as well as PEOPLE YOU DON'T KNOW, who don't know me much, don't open your mouth, don't even type a text letter, and just lay low. I love being sarcastic! Okay? Okay! Shut up! Especially guys! :3